God has really been working on me… a lot.
That night after the big revelation, I felt like a huge burden in my heart had been lifted off of me and released. I know, it's hard to stay mad at someone when they heal you but my brain just goes there, ya know?
You have to understand something. Deacon didn’t actually do this to me, not directly. Indirectly, yes. He was the conduit through which it all happened. The Devil had been talking to me through the pendulum as if it were Noah (aka Deacon). And I had let myself believe the tale he was spinning. There is this portal in my room that the Deep State uses, Mr Pendulum calls them Limon Brothers. Both Jax and Deacon seem to work for them.I had been led to believe that not only Deacon but Jax were there on the other side of this energetic intercom not only watching me but communicating with me. You will definitely have to read Codename Pallas for any of this to make sense.
Let me give you a little personality update. Deacon is Noah Stone. He is a deacon at my church. When I would converse with my friend Calliope, “deacon” is the name I would use to describe him. Similarly, I would call Jax “old boyfriend” since that is what he is to me. I didn’t use names just monikers to describe who I was talking about.
So, back to the original topic. I had let myself get emotionally conned by the Devil (disguised as Deacon through Mr. Pendulum.) Mr. Pendulum is a divination device I use. You will definitely need to read through the Pallas mission for any explanations. I had totally bought into the lie the Devil was spinning hook, line and sinker. It was only a few brief moments, an instant, an inkling that maybe love was possible for me, this secret spy tarot reader who hid her true self from the world. And I could see it all really clearly, the intuitive part of me could see the future unfolding like a flower. All the possibilities, everything. And I let myself believe, just for that moment, that anything could be possible. I let my guard down, and then the Devil made a wrong move. He insulted me in a sly way and I knew in that second that I’d been duped, betrayed. And it wounded me, probably more than Jax walking away twenty-five years ago.
That’s when I knew I was done. Done with the Pallas story. Done with it all. I’m even considering not returning to church because of some recent revelations about Deacon. He’s not who I thought he was. He has demons. I mean literal ones. I have never had the Devil intrude so much into my readings until I met him. Either he is a demon slayer with all of them out to get him or he sold his soul to the devil and is a tool to use, a minion. I can’t decide. The energy is just too weird. The jury is still out. I want to believe the best in him and I will but it’s hard.
My heart is making me hesitant to get involved. Just the mere thought of having something unfold with him and then losing that made me cry, gutted me. What would happen if circumstances changed and there might be a chance for us? I may not survive it if I discovered a truth I couldn’t handle.
I know, it’s very deep in here, isn’t it? This is where I’ve been in my head. I am pulling tarot readings that are just so over the top and all over the place that I feel like the literal Revelations is right before us.
I am still getting that the Romanovs are real. A new guy named Stu is throwing his hat into the ring now. He is a Romanov who came out of nowhere. He seems to be connected to Deacon somehow. Not sure about it. Just a feeling. Papa Romanov tells me that Deacon was adopted into the Romanov family.
The Star People are real too. You know them as the Greek and Roman Gods. Pomona, she spells it Poloma, has been showing up in my pendulum readings. I think it is through the Romanov connection. Romanov. Roman. Poloma is a Roman goddess, one of the few who wasn’t split in two. I call it my double bubble theory.
Poloma is really worried about Deacon. Apparently, I am supposed to save him.
I’m shaking my head now. Why me, God?
No comments:
Post a Comment