Chapter 5 - Being Authentic in the Struggle

 

Chapter 5 - Being Authentic in the Struggle

The next five minutes...

I have been listening to a lot of music lately that really got me through some tough times in the past. God said this is also a way to use history to prove God exists. These songs so resonate with my soul this connection gives them more power. The few lyrics standing out to me right now are:

• Should have been loving you. Should have been praising you. Should have given you something in return for the love you've shown.
• A single grain of faith is all we really need. No mountain is too high, if we believe. A little bit of trust, is all it ever takes. We can change the world with a single grain of faith, a single grain of faith.
• I'm living the next five minutes like these are my last five minutes cause I know the next five minutes may be all I have

Songs just speak to you sometimes. And in my past I gobbled them up to help heal my wounded soul. I didn't listen to what others did. I think I was the only person at my job who strictly listened to contemporary Christian music. And that's okay. I'm not trying to be anyone else but me. God calls that being authentic in the struggle. I know God showed me this music years earlier because he knew that period of struggle was coming up for me and he was preparing me in advance. He is a lot like my pastor in that way. My pastor is a mega planner and has nearly a years worth of sermons on the docket and ready to go at a moment's notice. He likes to say how being this prepared makes it easy for you to shine your light in that authentic way that leaves no room for doubt who inspired you.

God wants me to talk a bit about the demons and the dark side attacking me. I am so over it now and had a good talk with God about it. When you shine your light, even the darkness sees you and is attracted to you. We don't stop shining because of this. We just need to shine brighter. With God in our lives, the darkness flees. Got a lot of behind the scenes stuff worked out and things are returning to normal.

But these demons are in all of our lives. They are stealthy too but in a bad way. They undermine our confidence and make us believe we are not good enough. That has been a big struggle in my life. Not just lately but had been a big theme in my life growing up. Not exactly sure where it came from but God sent a person to me to help me with this. He was my grandpa. He married my grandma after her time in the struggle of life. Basically, he is not blood tied to me. His biggest fear was that we would leave him like his last family did. I told him he was stuck with us and if you ask me, I get my singing talent from him. We are God-tied, not blood tied.

He was the real grandpa, the one who made a difference. Sometimes blood just doesn't matter. I want to tell you a bit about him. If you know me, you know I like to sing. So did grandpa. He could play the piano by ear and was on a number of gospel quarters singing bass most of my childhood.  Later in life, he did prison ministry. He was also an ordained minister and saw something in me he didn't see in my siblings. He could see, even back then, I was supposed to sing for God.

God likes to plant people in our lives like this to lift us up. When I was in sixth grade and tried out for the choir, I didn't make the cut. My voice was too weak. I just knew I was supposed to do that. I knew internally it was important to my path. My grandfather had told me so many times I was good enough for this. So I took lessons on the side. My problem was that my voice was weak. I had asthma pretty bad back then. And just breathing was a struggle much less singing. But I overcame that valley and in six months was in the choir. And since that day I have been in some sort of choir or worship team. If it weren't for my grandpa seeing that pure authentic potential in me, I am not sure I would be standing here writing a blog like this.

Today, I want you to look into your own history and see who stands out to you. Who lifted you up in your biggest struggle? You may be surprised how long God has been working in your life. Blessings.