Diary Entry 17: Breakdowns, Lockdowns and Showdowns

 

Diary Entry 17: Breakdowns, Lockdowns and Showdowns

LEGACY MESSAGING PROTOCOL SYSTEM

dated: 8/5/21, 4:25pm

GIA DOYLE: We are still awaiting your response.

JAX TEMPLE: I'm out. Find someone else.

***

I had a bit of an emotional release yesterday. I won't call it a breakdown because it wasn't that bad. I almost feel like a tether was released from me, sort of like an energetic chord. Yesterday it was snapped and a flood of emotions I didn't know I was repressing flowed out of me. I think I finally got that energetic nod that a decision was made and Jax really wasn't coming in for me, not even with the prompting of God behind it. And it's his right to say no. We all do have free will on this planet. Or so I'd like to think.

I don’t know the reason why. I guess it’s not for me to know, but suddenly my soul was heavy and I burst into tears. I had a good cry for an hour or so. I mean, even for me it was pretty pathetic. I’m not really a crier and connected to my emotions in the way most people are. I guess I just needed the release. I had been holding on to this ridiculous hope that since we earthlings were in this soulmate cycle that I might be included in that bunch. People are coming back together in droves. It’s amazing to see. But it is just not for me, I guess. Shucks. Time to move on and refocus.

To make things even weirder, I keep getting these odd messages about my mom. Not just from Mr. Pendulum but from the cards too. It keeps telling me mom is coming back. The cards show some sort of energetic new beginning which makes me think of resurrection but Mr. Pendulum says that she is just returning, as if she has been living apart from us for over a year living the high life or something. A Mom-cation. The Truthers would probably say it is part of “the movie.” Have you heard of this concept yet? It’s a bit of a mind boggler.

So, this is what they say is going on. The Deep State has been manipulating us for years through tv, movies, the internet, celebrities, music, etc. Every single thing you do in this life from the food you eat, the tv you watch, the music you listen to, chemtrails poison the air, fluoride poisons the water… it’s just one big conspiracy to dumb down the human race and make us their slaves.

Oh, but there’s more. They don’t just want to control us, they want to kill us off too! They want ninety percent of the population gone, off the planet, fineto. This planet is big enough for all of us but these guys think we’re all a bunch of unworthy ants who they need to get rid of. Not really sure why they take this stance. It’s just weird and obsessive. I mean, who are they going to use to sacrifice to their satanic gods and demons? Each other? That might be worth watching just to see them squirm, but I digress. 

So, okay, “the movie.” Apparently ever since Kennedy was assassinated (Was he? I’m wondering.) a group of generals got together (we’re talking like 200 generals, at least, that is what I heard) to change the world and get a handle on this Deep State agenda that has been ruling us for so long. The good guys, aka The White Hats, decided to use all the Deep State’s nasty tricks to manipulate us against them.

Supposedly now the shadow government, which used to be the Deep State, is now the White Hats. Somehow they convinced Trump to run for office and being a businessman, he knew how to bring the country back into a sort of financial balance and at the same time ramped up the patriotic vibe to an amazing level. Never before have I seen so many people proud to be an American. Trump changed everything for the better. Many were still not believers in the Trump agenda. Then they let Biden pretend he won to show the world how these guys, the Deep State, would completely upturn everything and make the economy tank all the while saying they were doing the exact opposite. Biden’s people said they would make things better than Trump had it. And that is the rub, they say they are “fixing things” when in fact they are doing the opposite.

A lot of Truthers call the Biden regime the Pretend-ancy since this whole regime is just for pretend. Biden is not really in office and the Trump team and the military are really running things behind the scenes. Have you noticed that the White House Biden televises from is not the real deal? And no one has been into the Capitol building until recently. Supposedly they are conducting military tribunals to deal with all the bad guys they are arresting during this process of bringing down the Deep State. They are doing it in phases so the normal citizen doesn’t realize what is going on and freak out. They have been sending a lot of the bad guys to Gitmo, that prison down by Cuba. The Truther’s call it The Spa. And this place is filled with Deep State baddies and their henchmen. They are all down there awaiting their turn in front of the tribunals.

I kind of buy into their whole “movie” concept but I don’t appreciate the normal citizens being kept in the dark for so long. The mainstream media (MSM) has just become a propaganda machine for the Deep State. And they use this MSM to brainwash us and tell us what to care about and what to fear. That definitely needs to be nipped in the bud and fast. Since I work in the media, I kind of understand what goes on behind the scenes to a point.

If you think about it, trying to get a handle on all this corruption is quite a daunting task. It’s no wonder it is taking so long. This Deep State is invasive stuff. Sort of like that creeping Charlie you can never get out of your yard completely. This is like dealing with red tape times a million.

I still don’t understand anything around the jab and the C19 illness. Did you know that they, the baddies, had a Mrna vaccine for the C19 illness before it ever even landed in America back at the beginning of 2020 forcing us to lockdown? Did you know in 2018 Fauci told a group that there would be a surprise pandemic during Trump’s administration? 2018! I understand planning for crap to happen, I really do but implementing a world-wide lockdown did not help their cause. All the sleepy people, they call them sleepers because they are asleep to what is happening, buy into this mandate crap 100 percent. It’s like they want to be led to the slaughter while holding the lollipop they received after their tenth C19 booster shot.

At this point my question is to the Galactics who are protecting planet earth. Why did you ever let it get this far? Is this just a funny game to you? Do you watch us like we do TV and laugh at our missteps? Pardon my French but get your Galactic asses down here and deal with some shit, please! I’ve had about enough of this crap and I'm sure everyone on the planet would agree with that!

Diary Entry 16 - Oh Gods, A Historical Breakthrough

 

Diary Entry 16 - Oh Gods, A Historical Breakthrough

I think I made a breakthrough last night with finding details about this Waters Royalty thing. Finally Mr. Pendulum broke his silence about it all. And I am still trying to get a handle on what it really means. I have been realizing something about history, it’s all wrong. Someone lied to us, and it just wasn’t someone recently. This has been going on for eons.

The first thing I get is that there was an underwater fight between Poseidon and Triton. If you aren't up with who's who in the Greek God universe, Triton is Poseidon’s son and they are both gods of the sea. Triton is more like a hearld for his dad, you know, message deliverer, reminds me a bit of Hermes but underwater. It seems all of these “gods” are aligning with people in my real life which is the oddest thing ever. Poseidon is my dad. Triton is Jax, aka old boyfriend, if you haven’t been keeping up. I am Pallas, Triton’s daughter. So far so good?

So, Mr. Pendulum is trying to tell me that there was this big flood that happened because Poseidon and Triton got in a big underwater fight. I might have bought this for an hour or two but I just couldn’t wrap my mind around why. Why were they fighting?

Then I realized that the officials at the time turned them into monsters. These officials were priests and magicians. And they didn’t actually turn them into literal monsters, but they created an illusion. They spun the tale to the human population that the Gods were not good and were doing them harm. Or maybe they spun the tale that the Gods wanted to be worshiped, I don’t know but I do know a tale was told and it wasn’t the truth. I think this is truly where the Deep State was formed. They spun illusions and manipulated people to further their own agenda.

The Gods, at least the ones from the Greek Pantheon, came from the stars. Mr. Pendulum says they are from the Sirius star system. I am not sure why they really came to earth but it said they gave the citizens happy feet and Apollo and Pallas made many friends of the locals. Oh, and in case you forgot, Apollo is Deacon.

By this time I have come to the conclusion that this underwater fight between Poseidon and Triton might be disinformation. When I clarify later, I realize that the two sea gods were attempting to fix straits and waterways, tunnels and things underwater that needed to flow in certain ways. This reminds me of how all the Truthers say to “watch the water.” I still don’t know what that means, but this seems to resonate with that.

At some point during this flood story there is a sacrifice. Pallas sacrifices herself for the people of earth. There is not much known about Pallas and what powers she may have possessed but I am getting that she had the gift of resurrection, a gift of bringing things back to life. I am not sure the word sacrifice means what I think it does at this point. And when I ask Mr. Pendulum abou it he says it meant educating myself in order to provide a team effort. Hum.

So the straits and waterways Triton and Poseidon were fixing were sabotaged by Vesta. She is the Roman equivalent of Hestia, the goddess of home and hearth, the stay at home housewife of the Greek pantheon. Mr. Pendulum says that Vesta is death incarnate. I am definitely going to have to make a map of all these gods just in order to remember who is who and how they relate to me in my own life.

Vesta had let this strait deteriorate for a purpose and the Gods from Heaven were helping make things right on earth. In fact, they still are, I’m sure. I think these Greek Gods were the galactic caretakers of earth.

At some point something happens to Triton and he is reborn as Northman. I am wondering if this is where the whole rebirth, reincarnation cycle began. It says that Apollo faced the officials and no one survived. Apollo has this sun power which probably made things mighty toasty for a while on Earth. Somehow I traded my life, sacrificed, for Apollo’s and here they called him One Source, God incarnate. Northman opened a portal and somehow I was reborn too into Truth incarnate. Confused yet? I know I sure am.

Diary Entry 15: Oppressed, Stressed Out and Guarded

 

Diary Entry 15: Oppressed, Stressed Out and Guarded

Okay, we have a new player in the game, or should I say players -- The Generals! Deacon has briefed his supervisors about my story and apparently they find it a welcome change. Interesting take on it, I guess. Not sure what that means for me, though.

One of my guides, Sona, the rapper, you know, the Devil? He wants me to vet the superiors before trusting them. Not sure how to do that. Maybe that could be his job in the higher realms, vet the Generals because I’m not sure how I would even do that.

But I do know one thing for certain, my story is driving Deacon bonkers. I have been pulling the arguments card for days. Plus last night I pulled the oppressed, stressed out and guarded cards and Mr. Pendulum says they relate to him. It was never my intention to drive him bananas. Remember, triggering people is my superpower. One Source of All says that my superpower is really truth, so I guess it could be that too!

Just FYI, to those Powers That Be who may be reading this. I am just making a majority of this stuff up as I go along. If it is about me, it is probably real, the rest, it’s a toss up. Apparently, I am hitting the nail on the head with my plotline where it concerns the truth of things and that can be disconcerting to people who are in the know. People who are not me.

In case you are interested and are keeping score, I got a new title last night. Knowledge incarnate. Cool, eh? Don’t know what it means but I’ll take it.

God, One Source of All was just really chatty last night and told me to question Deacon and give him the third degree. I couldn’t help but laugh at this. I am so out of the loop I really wouldn’t know what to ask and truthfully, he probably wouldn’t talk to me any way. People who don’t want to talk to me tend to avoid me at all costs. Must be a vibe I put off.

The Generals seem to want to use my story in some way. Not sure how, but the fact that Deacon brought this to their attention has given them a lot of faith in him. In my opinion, this is the type of faith they should have had in him all along, but what do I know?

I am going to jump to a new topic here. Jax. I think the connection between me and him is fading out or someone is blocking it in some way. I get cards from time to time that say the Devil is blocking love overflowing from coming in for me. That is just kinda rude, if you ask me. Who wouldn’t want love overflowing?

I can still feel the connection and he is still in my third eye like an annoying nat but relationships are more than psychic connections, right? I can see him shuffling tarot cards every once in a while. Yesterday he pulled the Sun card which is a card of happiness and success, joy and childlike wonder. Could be just the connection to Truth Inc. and not a connection with me in any way. Jax may limit himself to just providing funding. I had a message awhile back that when the financial reset happens he will be the King of Illinois. News to me. He was never a financial wonderboy, but I am sure he makes good dough at the airline. It’s probably a Deep State connection or something.

Our soulmate/twin flame connection has deteriorated for too long. I think it just wasn’t right for us in this lifetime. His life is up north, mine is here and there is no inbetween. At least, that is what I am telling myself at this point.

In reality there is no me and Deacon either. I mean, he may or may not be my brother, Marcus. That is yet to be seen but my mom came through Mr. Pendulum yesterday and wants me to practice making his favorite soup, Trout and Turnip Soup. I knew she was kidding me. She knows I hate turnips.

This story is basically just a bunch of nonsense thrown together to entertain myself. It doesn’t really have a true purpose or a plotline. Just random things thrown together in story form, sort of like my Familiar Adversary story from years back.

Another subject change. Sorry, I have been writing in spurts. 

I pulled a reading this morning and got a real Galactic/ET vibe from it. I don’t usually get that impression from my cards, but there are tarot readers out there who speak of connections like this on YouTube. Here is how I am reading this latest card pull.

Deacon and The Generals are quarrelling. He is having a disagreement with them about something. There is a feeling of regret mixed in with this but the cards aren’t showing that. It is just an impression I am getting. There is a big announcement then a portal opens. It’s like a connection between worlds. A portal connecting to another portal. Reminds me of Stargate and the wormholes they used to get from planet to planet. This connection is to an ET/Galactic thing where these Galactics are managing us or manipulating us, I can’t decide. But these ETs are working with The Generals. Mr. Pendulum says they are good ETs, so that is a relief. But they are the ones who are really in charge of Earth and they want a meeting with me. Jeez! It has to have something to do with the Waters Royalty thing for sure. I thought this nonsense was going away. Nope. It just ramped up. Thanks Deacon.

While I was in bed this morning, I was reminded of something Mr. Pendulum told me awhile back. He was saying how Galactics use us here on earth as a baby farm. I assume these are the bad Galactics. Somehow they energetically impregnate women and let the seed germinate inside them for a short period of time. Then they swoop in and energetically take the babies away to fully develop somewhere else. Sort of like a human baby farm.

I asked how many kids I had in this manner because, hey, a gal is curious. I thought they would say two or three. Nope. Fifty!  What?

When I first started doing tarot I would pull oracle cards constantly that spoke about my children and how they were thinking of me or something of the like. I could never figure out why. I don’t have kids. I was never married. Never seemed appropriate.

Remember when we were talking about outer space the other day? I didn’t tell you something else that came out in that pendulum reading. They said that outer space was like a trade route. I asked what did they trade. Babies! They trade these children they “farm” from planet earth and make money selling them. 

This is the sort of stuff that gives me migraines.

Diary Entry 14: Truth, Inc.

Diary Entry 14: Truth, Inc.

I just pulled the weirdest tarot reading. It just can't be a straight forward here is the topic and here is the answer. Nope. It has to put everything including the kitchen sink into the mix.

It was saying Deacon was suddenly independent, had freedom and was completing a cycle in his life. Closing out a chapter, is this something I really need to know? Clearly, I am not in his life enough to warrant this sort of disclosure. Especially when I am pulling a reading for me and everyone I've ever known shows up in it. It further elaborated that this SRA group he was thinking about starting about helping kids and the elderly was pushing forward. I think it's going to be a real thing. Mr Pendulum likes to call this group Truth, Inc. Heaven knows why. Deacon is definitely getting a boost of divine energy to start this thing.

The next row was about Jax. He had a decision to make. The type you make from your heart. Someone was rushing in to speak with him. I figure that it’s Deacon considering I keep pulling their cards together and I also got the 2 of Wands, crossroads card. And to top it off Deacon has been keeping an eye on Jax. I told you there was going to be spying involved with this story. Jax and his Deep State “family” spy on me and Deacon spies on both of us and reports to some mysterious “superiors”. And I thought he was out of the military. 

Wow, do I sound paranoid or what?

It might make more sense if I had something worthy of spying on. Mr. Pendulum has told me worthy, worthy, worthy more than once lately and justified it with the Waters Royalty spiel. I don’t even want to know what that means, to be honest.

Back to Jax. There is going to be a Tower moment, you know, lightning strike, sudden change, yadda, yadda, that happens after his chat with Deacon. And this will make a sweeping change in his life. Are these timelines morphing like crazy or what?

The next row was about Kara and me. Sounds ominous, right? It’s concerning a reunion and I figure it’s about the worship team and not a hit she is considering putting out on my life.

The last row is about messages coming in. It looks like it might be about messages I am not seeing from someone who walks away from me in the past. That has to be Jax because who else would it be? (The other person who comes to mind is my mom but since she is dead and not reanimated yet, I am ruling her out.) And why he would want to speak with me after twenty-five years just baffles my mind. Mr Pendulum says it’s been quite a struggle getting Jax to make up his mind about it. Apparently, at some point, Deacon and Jax will talk and I might find an unexpected visitor on my doorstep.

So this group thing Jax and Deacon are creating is really happening. I just keep getting more and more messages. My cards won't stop talking about it. They are being kind of annoying really. I get it already, okay? You don’t need to jam it down my throat.

I was told a while back that my next job would be about helping others with their personal power. I didn’t know what that meant at the time. Still don’t. But I have studied a lot of various self help topics over the years. Mr. Pendulum told me that while I am sleeping I am studying history. Heck, if I knew I could do that, school would have been so much easier.

He also told me untoward things happen in our sleep as well. Somehow the bad guys of the Deep State get beyond our mental walls and hijack us. They are probably downloading all sorts of stupid stuff into our brains that don’t serve us and make us all really good sheep and easier to control.

The new group Jax and Deacon are creating, apparently, I will be involved in this group in some sort of support role. Helping has always been my main mission statement. You wouldn’t believe how that word triggers some people. I told an old boss I was helping and she nearly blew up in my face. I mean, volcano city. Her face even got red like lava. I tend to be a real expert at triggering people when I don’t mean to. What a superpower to have, huh?

I feel like I have been in this weird pause mode for years. I guess I have been gathering intel to use at some future time.

I was reading up on Agenda 21 and Agenda 2030. Man, those Deep State guys are really crazy. And I totally don’t get it. My main takeaway is -- why? Why would you go to so much trouble to purposely hurt other people?

They say the Deep State tells us what they are going to do to us. And apparently by them telling us, it makes it okay. And that’s not all. They really need us. They have no power, no real tangible power. We are the creators. We all have the power and don’t even know it. Why do you think they manipulate us with TV, movies, radio, the internet, celebrities, etc? They instill fear in us. And by us being mega fearful, we help bring this fear energy into the world. We are like giant magnifiers. They like to manage what we fear so the can manipulate us and in turn make themselves money. It’s a real vicious circle of insanity.

This is why we all need to pray and control the fear vibe in us. The easiest way to do that is to stop watching television. I did this naturally. I have always been overly sensitive to how toxic news is. When I was teaching myself to write I used to obsessively watch soap operas. And these stories are all about drama, drama, drama. I could connect with these characters and learn how to write and create my own original fiction cast.

Eventually, I had to turn the soap operas off too. They were driving me nuts. You get so involved in stories that strange Jerry Springer-like things start to happen in your real life as if you manifested them. That is because you did.

One time I accidentally manifested an opportunity to create a logo for a soap opera star, the same star I was writing my fan fiction about. But I also manifested a stalker at the same time. It was a man who attended my church who was a bit mentally unbalanced.I lived alone at the time so it scared the crap out of me. Is it any wonder why I don’t really create bad guys in my stories. The ones I have are pretty vague depictions of baddies. I don’t develop them very clearly on purpose. I don’t want some figment of my imagination coming to life and attacking me. I know, I sound paranoid again. But this is why all my bad guys are redeemable, just to be safe.

Diary Entry 13: Connecting the Dots

Diary Entry 13: Connecting the Dots

You remember the other day how Kara tried to get me to stop coming to church? Well, it didn't work. I'm not really that good at following directions, especially when there is malice of forethought behind someone’s intentions.

Mr. Pendulum wanted me to go back to my old church. Uh, no. Saying I was stronger around people I am familiar with. Well, if that was his reasoning, might as well stay exactly where I am. I like my church. The people are cool there. They get me. Okay, they may not get this blog version of me, but the face I show to the world, they get that me.

You know what that means, right? Yep. Went back to my normal church on Sunday. You have never seen good acting until you see someone who wants to rip your throat out put on that sweet face while her eyes are shooting daggers at me. Okay, more like lasers. Cause if they were real lasers, I would definitely be dead right about now.

On Sunday, Deacon gave the sermon. He is doing this big eight or nine part series about the end times and Revelations. I find it ironic I started writing this Pallas story on the eve of this sermon series. He’s talking about Revelations and now God is revealing things to me too. Heck, I even called the Judgement card Revelations a few chapters back. Something is definitely being revealed here. I am sure it is not just with me and Deacon. What type of revealing things are coming forth in your own life? Time to take a hard look at what is going on with you and see how God is speaking to you in your own world.

I don’t know if you’ve ever noticed but things happen around you every day that are mysteriously in sync with how you are feeling or what is going on in your brain. This morning I awoke to the song lyric  “When We All Get To Heaven, What A Day of Rejoicing That Will Be” running through my head. This lyric inspired me to get back to writing on this story. I was a little worried over the weekend that I had lost my mojo on this Pallas mission. I started to write a scene where Tori and Jax meet again after twenty-five years, but I just couldn’t wrap my mind around it. Something was blocking this scene. Something wasn’t right and my internal writing editor knew it even if the writer part of me didn’t.

Can you imagine being Jax in this situation? What would you do? Accidental meeting? Save them from certain death when the enemy approaches? I’m having trouble figuring this out. So, this morning as I was lying in bed, God was giving me all these all these little nuggets of things that have happened over the last few weeks and showed me how they all threaded together in a single thought. God is cool like that.

Last night as I was doing a card reading the Four of Wands which is the stability, happy family, home card was above the Devil. I didn’t think about these two cards being together or the meaning of it. I had just laid them out. I was using a second deck to clarify and noticed the Four of Wands was on the bottom. Weird. I moved that card aside to see what was underneath. Dang if it wasn’t the Devil card. How weird is that? Spooky weird. It’s a God thing for sure.

To me this says that stability, happy home life, firm foundations, celebrations, marriage which is what the Four of Wands means are blocking the Devil's influence. It’s trumping the Devil every day of the week. The Devil has no power when that loving vibration is in high effect. So the Four of Wands is blocking the Devil -- Twice! Interesting. So I guess what happened was that the Devil tried to come in and do something but it was denied.

Yesterday, I had to go out for a walk. I went from being a real sleepy head, I get that way on Sunday afternoons. It’s like my end of the week crash before Monday morning. My internal reboot. My body just wants to shut down and nap for a while. Then I got a weird, jittery, anxious feeling that seemed to come out of nowhere. I decided I needed to walk around the block a few times to ward off this weird vibration. As I was walking, I noticed this weird plastic-like smell outside. I couldn't really identify what it was. It just smelled odd. Mr. Pendulum told me that I was just really sensitive to these types of smells and that it was parasites. Really? Parasite in the form of street urchins who were outside watching me. They were trading work for food. And their work was watching me.

Street urchins? What is this? Oliver Twist or something? Mr. Pendulum further elaborated they were hired by Kara, Deacon’s wife. I am shaking my head and asking why. Apparently, I had stolen something from her. News to me. When Mr. Pendulum told me what it was, it had my eyebrows raising. I had somehow stolen Deacon by doing absolutely nothing at all. I am not sure how I may have accomplished this feat. Maybe she is just giving me more credit than I deserve.

Okay, I am suddenly reminded to add this to the story. God does this sometimes. Interjects things. As I was listening to Deacon’s sermon yesterday, I realized something. All these people from history, these important figures we all learned about in school are all here in some form right now. It’s like this big powerful conference is taking place and every big wig in history is taking a place on the stage in some form or another. This reminded me how Mr. Pendulum told me that Jax was the Apostle Paul in another life. I just thought it was a weird factoid at the time. But I am realizing all these figures are alive in all of us. They are our history even if we don’t believe in past lives or parallel lives or whatever. So, there must be a reason for this coming to the surface, right?

A few months ago Mr. Pendulum was giving me a list of all the ways I was powerful. I don’t know why. Maybe he was bored. In my number five slot was Hestia and Joseph of Aramathea. I have to be honest, I knew I had heard of this Joseph but couldn’t peg who he was. I had to look him up to be sure. I do a lot of researching trying to figure out what Mr. Pendulum is telling me. Apparently, he's the guy who owned the tomb where they took Jesus’s body after he died. Hestia is the Goddess of hearth and home. Kinda like the stay at home mom of the Greek Gods.

Is it just me or does that loosely say I have the power over life and death? Or rebirth because Jesus was reborn from the dead. The other day Mr. Pendulum told me that my mother was coming back. He’s actually been saying that for a while but how do you take something like that seriously? The most recent ramblings of his said she was going to be reanimated. Huh? Wouldn’t you need a body to do that? Mom would have to create a new one from scratch, I guess. This connects to Joseph of Aramathea who gave his tomb to Jesus where he was reborn, brought back to life. Maybe it was an ancient healing chamber or something.

Joseph is my number five power. Fives are all about change and probably some of the more challenging cards in the minor arcana. I have been pulling fives a lot lately in my readings. It’s annoying but there is probably a reason for it. But I am clueless to this point as to why. I am sure it will hit me with a bolt of lightning like on the Tower card. Mr. Pendulum just said I am seeing fives because life is messy. Willpower, storms and education require change.

Pulled another death match reading with some playing cards. Jax is held up because of family which is actually coming in for him now. Good for him. It was the happily ever after type of family and not the legacy family which I am sure will make a difference to him.

Deacon, however, is unhappy and not seeing some opportunity God is giving him. That's just weird because Deacon is all about God and listening to him. I hear the lyric “I am praying for a God who listens.” Oh, God is listening all right. Deacon just needs to recognize the signs he’s being given.

Mr. Pendulum says Deacon’s history may be changing and I am soon to be made known to him. (Uh, I already know him.) Something might prove false. Give him time. Proof gives Deacon false hope. Really, does everything have to be so cryptic?

This morning the Two of Swords has been haunting my readings. Keeps popping out, trying to get my attention. When I finally ask what it means, I get that someone wants to urgenty speak with me about love and offer me something. Oh, this should prove to be an interesting conversation for sure.

Diary Entry 12 - Spoiler Alert - Signs Point To…

Diary Entry 12 - Spoiler Alert - Signs Point To…

Mr. Pendulum is giving me dire predictions of a personal nature now. Okay, let's be honest, I have gotten a message or two in the past but you never seem to take those first few seriously. What I am getting is the type of stuff where you want to put your fingers in your ears and sing “la-la-la-la!”

I have a month to see if this is another Mr. Pendulum lie or an unexpected truth? Not really looking forward to hearing the answer, gotta be honest.

So, this story is going to be a good way to keep all this nonsense, not off my mind, but pushed to the back shelf until I can better deal with it.

This is kind of reminding me of that analogy of the group trapped in the mine, air is running out and only one guy has the watch and knowing how much air they have left. I am feeling like that guy with the watch, judging the time as it tick tocks knowing the timer is going to ding at any moment. It’s not a fun feeling.

Anyway, that’s not why you are here, right? Sorry for the ramblings. Not many places I can express my concerns like this. Where did I last leave off in the story? Oh, yeah, North Man.

Pendulum is saying North Man is not only Poseidon but is my dad as well. Not sure why this is important yet. It’s just bizarre. I know I have a Roman past lifetime; she was a woman named Cassandra. I got that years ago before I ever knew who she was. I had to go to the internet, when the internet was very new, and search for the info I had. She was the oracle/prophetess who no one believed her insights and their whole realm went to crap cause they didn’t listen to her.

Mr. Pendulum has told me Marcus and I are royalty. Yeah, right, huh? When I dig into this question I get things like.. I am Artemis and Marcus is Apollo. Then a few minutes later I am Athena and then Pallas Athena. This was a while back. Recently, it said Mom was Pallas Athena and I was her namesake, the final Pallas. What the heck does that even mean? What is it with all the Greek God references? I did get the understanding that they aren’t actually Gods but higher level beings who have their own form of magic. They told me it is called re-magic. But I definitely got the impression that there is magic in the real world. The Gods, who aren’t really Gods, have a higher level magic, not sure how it is different but I am quite fascinated to hear why any of this means anything.

The pendulum is suddenly calling Deacon Priest Noah. I think it may have something to do with using sage to clear the energy of my space. I seem to be getting much clearer messages now. Plus, I think the energy of the planet is moving upward which is making us all more psychic.

I just have a question. Are you seeing things in your third eye, or is it just me? Every morning I see this scene which looks like scenes of two people morphing from one picture to the next. It is almost like I am seeing a slideshow of all my past lives in one second increments. And a couple of those lifetimes don’t even look human at all. I swear one image was rock people or something. Weird. And while I am seeing this scene of the random lifetime flashes I feel like my whole body is plugged into an electrical outlet. I just feel all buzzy. You probably all think I am really crazy now. Just a bunch of what seems like nonsense in one journal entry. I think the story is still building but I don’t know where it is going.

I think Mr. Pendulum has a crush on Marcus because he keeps going on about how he is such a strong main character and how I need to give him Poseidon-like characteristics. What type of characteristics are those? I asked which of my guides was helping me with this stor and they said it was Poe. You know Edgar Allen Poe? Apparently, I was his mother in another life. I read up about their connection, but it didn't seem good then. I think we have a better connection now since he has recently become a guide in the last six months. Problem is, he sucks at spelling. I can always tell when he is in on the connection. He is probably my favorite guide because, heck, it’s cool.

One time I got a message how Nehemiah was going to visit me. I’m like, the guy from the Bible? What in the heck did he want? I was tempted to ask Deacon what he thought it meant but I figured he’d peg me as crazy. I did look him up. He was this builder guy who was a bit like the Tony Robbins of building things. He went to a town to build something and heck if the people wouldn’t let him build it but were inspired to do it themselves. What do you think I am supposed to learn from this? Am I just the type of person who inspires other people? I do tend to be ahead of the trends. I am not much of a tradesman, although, my uncle would be good in that area.

Diary Entry 11 - Change of Plans

Okay, that was weird. Not what I was expecting at all. Just got a call from Kara, Deacon's wife. She was super nice to me in that syrupy sweet southern tone that gives me the impression she is the queen and I am the serf. Definitely a power play of some kind. Her intent was clear. I wasn't welcomed at church any more. I am pretty sure it has something to do with this story. I guess it is a good thing I didn't dish all the dirt I got on her from readings a few months back. Shocking stuff. Stuff that could make her put a hit out on me for sure. Oh, wait somebody already did that. And frankly, she has the background to take me out and have no problem singing on Sunday morning. Her energy is kind of scary like that. 

As I was contemplating the direction of this story I thought Kara would make a good Double Agent. Deacon thinks he is hiding his big secret as Marcus and instead Kara has been planted in his life, talk about long term op. Thirty years is a long time for an assignment. 

(I hope you realize at this point I am going off the rails with the reality stuff and moving into a more fiction based story.)

It was kind of a vague brush off. She didn't come out and say exactly why I was being banned from the premises.  I just know I am not wanted anymore. 

This breakup really reminds me of what happened with Jax back in the day. The energy feels the same. The Devil came out when I was asking spirit about this and that energy was mega strong. The crossroads card two of wands with the queen of swords came out. Harsh words and a new road opens. Oh, well, say-la-vee, I guess.  I am too tired to fight about it.  My sister and I are finally coming to a compromise about Dad. Just thinking about fighting makes me want to cry.  And crying is not in my wheelhouse. 

I was told a while back the Pentagon has a portal at church. I actually expected Jax to step out of it dressed to the nines in his pilot uniform and joining me in the front row. Sometimes the energy is just off the chain there. 

Been getting the weirdest messages about Dad. I have to keep in mind sometimes Mr Pendulum lies. It says Dad is preparing me for the next phase of my life journey with Deacon and Jax. it says he's actually being paid to do it. Hopefully he is being paid from God's blessings.  I mean you just can't make up the struggle he's been having with his breathing. And this morning when I went out to get the paper a chair was out of place and positioned right in the middle of the porch as if they were guarding the place. The chair was facing north. 

This is reminding me of something. Have I mentioned the North Man yet? For a long time I thought it was talking about Jax since he lives up north from me. But later I realized from the things Mr Pendulum has told me that he is Poseidon. Yep, the Greek God.  And he rules over some kind of realm that I can only describe as outer space. That just may mean a place on earth we can't see or haven't discovered yet. Or is actually outer space. I have a feeling outer space isn't what we think it is. 

Anyway, North Man, he has some connection to my mom, me and Deacon. I don't know what that connection is but it seems important.  He just came out again in my pendulum reading which is why I am mentioning it.  Now they are adding Jax to the mix of this connection. Somehow Jax and Deacon know each other but I am not sure why or how. It is still a mystery to me.