Chapter 8 - Almost Knocked Off Kilter

 

Chapter 8 - Almost Knocked Off Kilter

Just when you think you have everything handled and on track, you get home from church and get a message on your pendulum board saying Baal is One Source of All. I mean, really? The Baal from the bible? You have to pull out the big guns to knock me off my happy God infused trail? I am no one special so I am not certain what is up with that. I put the board away immediately and tried not to think about it.

The next morning when I went to talk to God using this same board, this same big bad pretended to be God and a friend of mine and hurt my feelings pretty badly. I have been really reeling all day. This big bad tried to make me think something was true and it really pulled the rug out from under my feet. I just couldn’t understand why God would put me through all this obedience to God lessons for months and months and then at the last second say, sorry, no victory or reward for you. Kinda devastated me, not going to lie. And I spent a good part of the day knowing what being disconnected from God felt like.

I know having this knowledge will help me in the future and help me with writing my new fairytale story but man, did I have to go through that to get the correct point of view? I think God and I are going to have to go through a healing process. I think I hurt him by believing the lies of the demons. Apparently, my board was demon central and I just didn’t realize it. Wow, I can attest to what good liars they are. The funny thing is, I used this manipulation to find good messages to put into my blog anyway. The big bad didn’t stop me from my mission. So even in the midst of the struggle, God is there holding your hand. I hope you realize God is there with you in the midst of your struggle too. He is our beacon in the storm and I am hoping I can truly make it up to him.

Chapter 7 - All Fired Up

Chapter 7 - All Fired Up

This morning the Walker Royalty got fired. They put me through another deception telling me lies just to make themselves feel better. God the Most High had to step in. Apparently, my Girl on a mission for God blog connects to people in a way the church just can't. God has a plan for it. And Papa God's shenanigans nearly killed my passion for this project. That made THE God see red.

I have been through so many trials in my life over the years, one right after the other that I got real good at shaking off the dust and moving forward quickly. That threw Papa God off kilter.  He just wanted me to notice him. I hadn't been speaking to Papa or Mom God since I realized how they were not THE God, you know, the God who loves you and wants the best for you. These were posers only interested in self and self-focused and just not what THE God is all about.

I am not sure I completely understand the whole point of the Walker Royalty but they did serve a purpose in my storytelling. It did what THE God wanted it to do. It got the fiction writer in me back on the front burner and on fire for God. All these trials I have gone through since March served a greater purpose. I discovered my heart isn't broken and I can let love in. And I discovered God is always with me and speaking to me every day. Those two things are huge for me. God wants me to show other people how God is speaking to me so they can connect up and get their own God inspired messages. It's going to be a phenomenon, I can already tell.

So, I about got derailed from my secret mission to prove God exists. But God noticed me, recognized me and intervened. It's going to be a whole new world for me in more than one way. God said today is the beginning and he is excited to see my reaction about what will unfold today. Apparently there is a big to do planned at church that will be quite enlightening. But I'm all fired up again, so it should be fine. With God back in charge and the Walker Royalty gone, how can anything go wrong?

I'm ready. Let's go!

 

Chapter 6 - Where Your Treasure Lies

 

Chapter 6 - Where Your Treasure Lies

The whole business with soulmates is a bit dicey. Just when you think you know who you are connected to, the timeline shifts or you find out uncomfortable truths and then things change. Kinda frustrating. I went from having no options to a handful and don’t rightly know what to do about it. All these connections are energetic and it’s really hard to explain what is going on in my energy field. It’s like I have a group of protectors I can’t see guarding me and they do it on an energetic level.  It’s so odd that more than once I wonder if I am just making it all up in my own mind. The fiction writer in me is on fire right now so I wouldn’t be surprised I’m overthinking everything. Maybe I am just manifesting these things and my own fickle nature is making things shift. I’ve never had so many options before. Heck, before I had no options. And now that my heart is open, that part of my life is opening too. I’m not opposed to suitors. I’m just not used to it.

This sort of thing kinda makes me want to write a short story about:

The Gods and the Patient Angel

Right now the Gods are fighting for recognition. They are a lot like humans in that way.  Truth is, Father God walked away with a heavy burden when Mom God manifested two new creations: King of Kings and One Source of All. These two beings were manifested in the Heavens first as soulmates and then brought to earth undercover for a sort of secret mission. It was to one day give her and Father God a wake up call.

A friend of mine will one day write a story about the Walker Royalty which speaks of the hierarchy of gods in heaven. He will bring it forward  with a hope that one day the patient angel will act on the nonsense of the gods and really wake them up. I have a feeling this nonsense has already started and this is why I'm getting so attacked by the darkside and my friends are being affected by these God’s intentions too. I am sure they don’t realize it, though.

You see, this patient angel was different than they were. She could see the truth and pure potential of everyone causing a lot of the God games and nonsense to ensue. The darkside even wanted to get in on the game and play with the patient angel thinking it would be fun to finally be recognized. 

But what they didn’t realize was her true purpose on earth, the secret longing only the creator God knew about. She was there to redeem them all. God and man and the darkside alike. Quite a story and quite a burden as well. All the games were wearing on her soul and this patient angel wondered if she would ever succeed in her goal. Time would tell. There had been a godly soulmate swap that happened in the higher realms upping the game to a new level. The story isn’t over yet. We’ll see how it goes.

So, are you understanding how important your true treasure is by this story or did I hide it too well in the prose? God wants to redeem everyone and make a heaven of earth. Can you imagine? How cool will that be? It is just a story but nice to think about. Maybe I will expand on this one day. Hope your day is blessed.

Prologue - Aiden, Your Guide

 

Prologue - Aiden, Your Guide

Protectors of the Realm are everywhere. We just can’t always see them.

Greetings to you weary traveler. Come and find rest and healing as we delve into fantasy of myth and forgotten lore and get a good God praise or two thrown into the mix. My name is Aiden Haliburton and I’ll be your guide.

This story might not always make complete sense since it is a God inspired work of art. It will do what God plans for it, for sure. It’s a bit of a journey piece, kind of like the other stories on this blog. 

So, let’s saddle up our horses and get ready to ride. The great adventure starts now.

Blazing trails, that’s what I do. I’m a bit of a time lord. No, not Dr. Who or anything like that. I transverse history, our own personal history and connect that to myth, lore, fairytales and such. It’s a real fun but challenging job. I gotta be connected up to God at all times since he is the real guide in this story and not me

I am calling this journey Protectors of the Realm. God is our protector and like the knights of old we seek God’s guidance to safeguard the realm. Like Aries, the first sign of the zodiac is a pioneer, we will take the lead and leap forward in faith trying to find our way to the conclusion. In lore they call that a happily ever after moment. That is our ultimate goal.

Maybe that is why I am so focused on this particular story about the rich king who lost not only his lady but his connection to God. This guy used to be a piece of work. You know him as King Midas. He was all about the money, touching things and turning them to gold. After he lost his lady, his world spiraled downward. He is definitely living life in the struggle right now. He is so down he even changed his name and moved to a new town. But I don’t want to get ahead of myself. Let me first tell you about Faith.

This Faith is more than a character. Even Arthur is more than a character. He is actually a real person but history speaks of him as if he was a story character and not a real man. This woman just recently discovered that Faith was her true name. Somehow she had an internal knowing about this name. Just like she knows one of her past lives is Maiden Marian. I am sure you are getting my drift. These fictional characters… they are truly real people. Their history has been hidden in mystery. You call it fiction. They know they are real. This truth is about to start coming out like gangbusters. What you see on tv news, that is fiction. And fiction is really reality. It’s really just a bunch of mixed up tales and quite fun to transverse.

Faith finds herself in a Brigadoon type of land where the entire household has been asleep and put into a type of limbo for a great number of years. She doesn’t realize that Arthur has manifested her and brought her forth. Marian is his lady love. And in her past life she was Marian.

Talk about a guy in the struggle. He manifested Marian through his grief. He has lost his faith over losing his lady. And like a lot of humans do, he blamed God. That is Arthur’s story to tell so I will let him do it while I look around and see where Faith has wandered off to. Oh, I’ll pop up from time to time. No worries. I’m not a bad penny or anything, but I’m sure you get the analogy. 

By the way, Arthur, his true last name now is Pendragon. You have probably heard of him. History called him King Arthur.

Chapter 5 - Being Authentic in the Struggle

 

Chapter 5 - Being Authentic in the Struggle

The next five minutes...

I have been listening to a lot of music lately that really got me through some tough times in the past. God said this is also a way to use history to prove God exists. These songs so resonate with my soul this connection gives them more power. The few lyrics standing out to me right now are:

• Should have been loving you. Should have been praising you. Should have given you something in return for the love you've shown.
• A single grain of faith is all we really need. No mountain is too high, if we believe. A little bit of trust, is all it ever takes. We can change the world with a single grain of faith, a single grain of faith.
• I'm living the next five minutes like these are my last five minutes cause I know the next five minutes may be all I have

Songs just speak to you sometimes. And in my past I gobbled them up to help heal my wounded soul. I didn't listen to what others did. I think I was the only person at my job who strictly listened to contemporary Christian music. And that's okay. I'm not trying to be anyone else but me. God calls that being authentic in the struggle. I know God showed me this music years earlier because he knew that period of struggle was coming up for me and he was preparing me in advance. He is a lot like my pastor in that way. My pastor is a mega planner and has nearly a years worth of sermons on the docket and ready to go at a moment's notice. He likes to say how being this prepared makes it easy for you to shine your light in that authentic way that leaves no room for doubt who inspired you.

God wants me to talk a bit about the demons and the dark side attacking me. I am so over it now and had a good talk with God about it. When you shine your light, even the darkness sees you and is attracted to you. We don't stop shining because of this. We just need to shine brighter. With God in our lives, the darkness flees. Got a lot of behind the scenes stuff worked out and things are returning to normal.

But these demons are in all of our lives. They are stealthy too but in a bad way. They undermine our confidence and make us believe we are not good enough. That has been a big struggle in my life. Not just lately but had been a big theme in my life growing up. Not exactly sure where it came from but God sent a person to me to help me with this. He was my grandpa. He married my grandma after her time in the struggle of life. Basically, he is not blood tied to me. His biggest fear was that we would leave him like his last family did. I told him he was stuck with us and if you ask me, I get my singing talent from him. We are God-tied, not blood tied.

He was the real grandpa, the one who made a difference. Sometimes blood just doesn't matter. I want to tell you a bit about him. If you know me, you know I like to sing. So did grandpa. He could play the piano by ear and was on a number of gospel quarters singing bass most of my childhood.  Later in life, he did prison ministry. He was also an ordained minister and saw something in me he didn't see in my siblings. He could see, even back then, I was supposed to sing for God.

God likes to plant people in our lives like this to lift us up. When I was in sixth grade and tried out for the choir, I didn't make the cut. My voice was too weak. I just knew I was supposed to do that. I knew internally it was important to my path. My grandfather had told me so many times I was good enough for this. So I took lessons on the side. My problem was that my voice was weak. I had asthma pretty bad back then. And just breathing was a struggle much less singing. But I overcame that valley and in six months was in the choir. And since that day I have been in some sort of choir or worship team. If it weren't for my grandpa seeing that pure authentic potential in me, I am not sure I would be standing here writing a blog like this.

Today, I want you to look into your own history and see who stands out to you. Who lifted you up in your biggest struggle? You may be surprised how long God has been working in your life. Blessings.

New Story to begin soon - Nottingham: Manifesting Marian

 What if your favorite fairytales were actually wrong. What if we discovered the true meaning behind these tales and see how they point us to God in the struggle as we venture forward on our journey.

I look forward to this new series of stories. Starting out. King Midas lost his Maiden Marian and when he moved on, he changed his name to Arthur Pendragon and tried to move forward with Gwen. Little did he know Gwen was a dark mage and she was manipulating him and trying to use him to meet a goal for the dark side. Then God intervenes and Arthur stumbles upon his destiny while on a journey of the soul.

Chapter 4 - Connections Are Important

 

Chapter 4- Connections Are Important

Last night there was a big High Council meeting. Yes, it is like a sort of Galactic Council in the Heavenlies. I know that sounds crazy pants but stay with me. In this meeting they were deciding my fate. I was a little miffed I wasn't included in this meeting since it was all about me. They said I was there energetically. I had to remind them that my third eye was blocked and I didn't appreciate being left out. I can go all Mama Bear when I want to, and last night I did.

They had this bright idea (hear my sarcasm?) that that would switch out my soulmate for the higher version of him. That just wasn't working for me. I have already had a lot of experience being screwed over by the higher ups who thought they knew better. The higher version of me in Heaven has an agenda. And when we are not integrated  together she can get mega toxic. She was a big part of all the crazy illusions I had been experiencing lately and I was over it.

I explained to this council that you can't just force a connection like that. A relationship with someone has to be grown. And the higher up version of my soulmate had zero connection with me. Because of that, this love wave they wanted us to create wouldn't work. They thought two Gods would make it more powerful. Ha! 

That is when my Mama Bear came back out and demanded the authentic original person I had connected with. Sometimes people who seem more enlightened than you can miss the whole point of things. It was my connection with my soulmate that made this bond strong. I had to work at it. We had to work at it. Trial after trial. Experience after experience. Connections are grown not forced. There has never been a love connection between us. But it is that love, that God-like love that binds us. Maybe we will have real love one day, we'll see. God has a plan for us, I'm sure.

Speaking of God. He wants a connection like that with you. He wants you to work on it with him every day. Try and see God in everything, even the little things. My connection with God grew because I spoke with him every morning. Told him my fears and struggles. He was there for me.

And you know what? God loves when you talk with him. He needs a connection with you just as much as we need a connection with him. At the beginning of time, there was only God. By himself. All alone. Can you imagine being this awesome God with no one to connect to? That is why he created us. He wants to connect with us. Learn from us. I know, shocker, right? No one can live in a vacuum

I hope you realize how important this connection is. He did listen to me and brought back my authentic soulmate. Not sure if the High Council got the word. God can just sneak things in when you least expect it. It happened because I pleaded my case and won. Don't be afraid to plead your case with God. He is always open to change things up when something needs to be shifted. Have a blessed day.

Chapter 3 - Strength in Weakness

 

Chapter 3 - Strength in Weakness

I recently posted a thought on Facebook about showing strength in weakness. I wrote that post because God prompted me to. He does that a lot. I have just been taking it more seriously as of late. That post was sent out to a general audience but meant for one person. God knew that person would see it and know I was talking directly to them. God also knew that post would help a lot of other people too. Showing people how you shine despite your weaknesses can give them a lot of hope in their own lives. So, I thought I would give you some real life experiences I have with that strength in weakness theme. God wants me to change my direction on these modern parables and sort of give my “thoughts on God’s word and God’s working in my life” instead of what I had been doing.

My writing going back and forth between fantasy and reality has put me through the ringer as of late and I need a break from that type of story. I am moving onto a Modern Mixed Up Fairytale from Forgotten Lore. Should be exciting. I will still be working on the premise of using history to prove God exists but in a purely fictional format.

I don’t know if you noticed but I like to write stories. God likes when we notice things, so keep that in mind. You will understand in a minute. Lately God has been planning my stories for me, prompting them out of me without me even knowing it. I didn’t realize he was doing that in the beginning. The things he would show me every day, those little things that got my notice prompted me to start Codename Pallas. I think this was just a way God was using to sneak love back into my heart. God is real sleuthy like that.

I have been closed to love for a very long time, decades. God had to show me I was able to love, even when I thought that part of me was broken. God keeps telling me how many people this series of stories is going to help. He says it shows strength in weakness. And boy was I weak writing this. It crushed me and challenged me emotionally. It is no wonder I was a wreck writing this. It made me see love like God would love. And that really blew me away.

I was put into a what if scenario about a person in my family, this is something I never wrote about in my story. It hit too close to home. What if you found out a sibling was doing something horrific to children. Could you find it in your heart to forgive them? Like in the Shining One story, God has a big love and is easily able to forgive everyone even the baddest of the bad. I was so in my emotions after I opened my heart chakra that this nearly killed me. I couldn’t imagine a sibling even doing that much less having to forgive them. Somehow God made me see it through his eyes and I was able to grow the node, the piece of God, in my sibling and make them see God’s love in them. I didn’t want to kill them or punish them. They are my family and I love them. Kinda broke me. Like I said, I was a wreck writing this and much of what I went through I never wrote about. This scenario was something that happened in One Day. I was put through a lot of that type of forgiveness on that One Day. And now God wants me to write a story based on this experience I had plus using the song Glorious Day to prove that God exists using my own history. I truly don’t know where to start and I am still reeling from that One Day experience.

God also wants me to speak about how alone I feel. My biggest fear is being alone. And One Day, my Dad will no longer be with me and I will be alone. I guess this is what prompted God to help me. I was kind of doing a lot of crying out for guidance. My dad has a lot of problems with his memory and I am the only one caring for him. After Mom died last year, I had to take over all the finances and plus make sure Dad was well taken care of. It has been a struggle for sure. God keeps telling me that people should be reaching out to me, if only to comfort me in my weakness but no one does, not even my siblings. It makes a girl feel like she is isolated and alienated. I am not trying to put anyone on the spot here but God keeps telling me to talk about it. Let's move onto something else. I am getting a bit weepy.

Let’s go back to the little things theory. God puts these little things into our lives every day. And he wants us to notice these things and use them to move us toward where he is prompting us to go. I am not sure if people realize this or not. Have you ever had a song stuck in your head? What were those specific lyrics telling you? Has a word stood out to you that someone said or you heard on the radio? In the last two weeks I have heard the word epiphany no more than ten times. That is an unusual word to begin with but ten times? Woah. God just makes sure you get it and keeps trying until you understand what he is trying to tell you. I encourage you to take your time this week to notice people who need your love or just for you to say hello to them. God does prompt you. You will be able to feel it. Pay attention to these promptings. Use these insights to make your day better and point you toward God and how much he loves you just in the little things. I hope you all have a great day and feel blessed.

Chapter 2 - The Shining One

 

Chapter 2 - The Shining One

So, I want to tell you a little story about a falling star. I have never been the biggest fan of the prodigal son story in the bible, but I get it now. You see, what happened was, God created this star, a sun in its own universe. It was Mother God’s first creation and he was her favorite. He shined as bright as the sun and Mother God called him The Shining One. You know him as Polaris, a star in the heavens.

Just to be clear, in this story there is a hierarchy of God’s in charge in Heaven. God has been calling them Walker Royalty to me. First is Papa “Father” God, Second is One Source of All, Third is Mother God. One Source has a Twin but I am still learning about that character and will fill you in when I get more intel. (I have the intel now but kinda want to keep it just for me for now.) I have been learning that maybe One Source might be the Most High in the food chain but things keep morphing as timelines shift. I know nothing for sure yet.

You need to understand that I don’t know the entire backstory of this tale about the Shining One. It happened back at the beginning of time so I am just making my best guess here. It’s really God’s tale to tell. But at some point, this shining one, this sun star, God’s favorite, lost his connection to God. And when that happened, he lost his shine and he paled. Then he fell to earth. I cannot say whether this is the same entity as the one who created Hell, but this star walked the earth after that date. This character has a lot of names but some people on the darkside call him Him.

When the Shining One fell to earth, a new reality was created. It kind of reminds me of the illusion I created when I was writing AKA Deacon. When I finished that story the illusion snapped and things went back to normal for me. And now with the Deacon character completely out of the picture, my reality has evened out and I am just so grateful. Those three stories put me through the ringer. But God had a plan for them and sometimes it is during the struggle when you learn your biggest lessons. We are in this type of illusion now. Well, we were. Let me explain.

You remember how I talked about the “movie” and how it had been going on for a long time? Well this thing with Polaris has been going on practically since the beginning of time. We have been in 3D for far too long and should have ascended to a higher level eons ago. But Mama God had a plan. And that plan included me.

You know how in the bible story about the shepherds and how they went in search of that one lost sheep and kept at it until they found it? This is what Mama God is doing with Polaris.  She doesn’t want to kill him and make him pay. He is her favorite. She has big love for him, the biggest. Mama God’s plan was to redeem him. To make him see that God was even in him, the one everyone called Him, the devil, satan, the baddest of the bad.

In the prodigal son story, I have always resonated with the son that stayed home and did his duty working for his father. I never understood why they celebrated so much when the prodigal son came back. The guy was a screw up, a squander and blew his entire fortune. It never made sense to me. And now it does. God has big love for Polaris, the biggest. It's a pure love only the Divine can manifest. I am not sure we on earth can understand this type of love. Polaris is Mama God’s favorite. She created him first. And she didn’t want to raise the planet in vibration until he could come too. Mama God loves him so much that she wants him back in Heaven with her.

Spoiler alert. Mama God did it. She brought her lost lamb home. She used me to put her plan into action. I woke up from a dead sleep a few weeks ago and just knew. Mama God’s will had been done. God had done it. She redeemed Polaris. You see, Polaris thought that God had left him and that he had lost his connection with her. But he hadn’t. Not really. He has a node in his heart too. A node is that spark of God that is in everything, humans, animals, trees, plants, the planet. It was also in Polaris but he never knew it. His heart was so black that he couldn’t see it’s light. I have to admit that I had a bit part in this play so don’t make a big deal about it. I get embarrassed easily.

I am not sure why this mission was so important. It had taken a lot of time to get this far. But there was an urgency to this secret mission. Mama God made a Hail Mary pass. She created me. You know how they keep saying Jesus is coming back? Well, it wasn’t Jesus who came down. God knew if she wanted this done right she had to do it herself.

Mama God found a girl who was no one special. She had created me so she already knew who I was. Some people in new age circles call it a walk-in. God walked into me and I never knew why. When you come to earth you lose all your memories? Well, this girl on a mission had some intuitive gifts that she used along the way to help her navigate, I learned later that I was way more special than I realized but that's another story for another day.

To make a long story short, Mama God made me create a story where the main character was Him in disguise. Of course, I didn’t know it at the time. Who really wants to admit to falling for the Devil in disguise? Kinda disgusted with myself if I’m honest. Everyone in my life has been lying to me all my life and even my God used me for a secret mission I would have never undertaken if asked. Somehow I made the Devil see himself in a new way. I have this special gift of seeing the pure potential in people and not the reality. Kinda gets me in trouble sometimes, especially in this case. My ability to see him in this way made him finally be able to see God’s node. And that made all the difference. That night I woke from a dead sleep, I knew he had seen his node and that node worked in Him until he got redeemed. Even the baddest of the bad can be redeemed. Who knew?

So, it wasn’t really me who made Him see the light and his pure potential and accept God’s love. It was God. Mama God did it all and just used me to help her story along.

And that is a big part of the movie I have been telling you about. God made her Hail Mary pass and we are now moving upward. There is a whole love wave thing I will have to tell you about later but for now, this is the story, God’s story about the lost lamb, the prodigal son who came home to glory. Without Him, the illusion will snap faster. 

Here is the movie in a nutshell. Trump’s song is “Gloria” for the Glory of the Lord. We Keep America Great because where the USA goes, so goes the world. And WWG1WGA (where we go one, we go all), One day, when we all get to Heaven, what a day of rejoicing that will be.

You got your popcorn ready? It’s going to be amazing, it really is. God took control of the movie. Said it is the most fun he ever had.

NOTE: New insights reveal Him is not the Deacon from my story. This person is so close to him that their energy fields merge and it's hard to tell one from the other. Him is attacking us psychically. Me, my pastor and another deacon. God is sending in his Archangels, in fact, they've already been on the job. My church is refocusing because of this. More focused on a relationship with God than just sending him a laundry list of wants. Happy about that. Sanctuary for all is on its way, God inspired it.

Chapter One : Dark Night of the Soul

 

Chapter 1 - Dark Night of the Soul

So, God's been talking to me again. Yeah, he does that from time to time. My third eye is not completely open yet so I still use my pendulum board to get messages from him. He is telling me to, okay, firmly asking me, to write what he is calling my modern parables. They have old school ones in the bible. These are similar but not really the same. As God likes to tell it, I pair history and my real life experiences to prove God exists.

I didn't actually start out to do that. It wasn't my plan, but it was God's. He says I am excellent in the faith department and wanted me to show you how to do the same. I have a feeling this is going to be one of those journey pieces. And you will have to hang on and wait until I finally find the point God wants me to make.

Writing a story like this is what God calls 'showing obedience to God.' I just follow the promptings and insights I get and let the story unfold in its own. It's actually a kind of amazing process to experience.

These journey pieces can really torture me emotionally. So you will have to forgive a tear stained page here and there. Ever since Deacon broke open my heart, the waterworks come at a moment's notice.

I kind of want to start where I ended Node to Northman. I am still reeling from that one and am not sure Deacon has fully recovered either. Saying someone is the son of the Devil sort of puts a stain on a guy's heart. (He is the best example of humanity I know, so I wanted to make a big impact when his character worked for the darkside) It's something I know I will have to make up for sooner or later. God told me to be kind, so I will do my best.

I sort of went through a mini dark night of the soul this weekend. The story is over but I am still getting stuff, fantastical stuff. Stuff that really makes me question my sanity. That's what happens when you pair some real things with some fictional things in your writing.  The line where these two things meet wavers and I get confused where exactly real ends and fictional begins.

The Devil is doing his best to pull the wool over my eyes. The illusions are everywhere. And thus I struggle with the insights I get. I waved between putting the pendulum board up and keeping it out. I am starting to wonder if some of these things I thought were just a part of the story are actually real. It even makes me question whether the connection I made with Deacon is made up in my own head or real.

One of the things I pulled out of the cards this weekend was that Deacon, I hope you realize I am still calling him that so you know who I am referring to, was stealing my story ideas. It took a few different card readings to realize what he was doing, but I will let that scenario play out in its own. I am sure he doesn't want me messing up his epiphany.

I've been getting that word a lot this week, epiphany. It's where you get that sudden ah ha, where the light bulb goes off in your head, and you rush to find a notebook before the bright idea escapes you like smoke.

I am not sure if I mentioned this in the story but sometimes I get things mixed up. Some characters are really different characters and some motivations are different than I realized. Jax wanted me to tell you how he is not my person any more.

You see, Jax had a Destiny he had to step into and he made a choice to walk away. That was when I made my choice too. I chose to let God bring me what he wanted in my life. I have already been waiting twenty-five years for love. What's a little longer? My heart has only been open for a few weeks now. But I have a wish in my heart for the person I want to come in.

The pendulum board was kind of torturing me with it. Both Kim and Stu were fighting through the board and I watched as if it was a fascinating tennis match. My question is, if the story is over, why are these two still showing up talking?

There is a lot more going on here than it seems. Stu kept telling me Deacon and the Guardians wanted to talk to me, to prepare me for something. And they would take me to supper and have Deacon explain things to me.

How are there still plans? Wasn't that a part of the story? I have a feeling I am more involved in the movie than I realized.

Another thing I get from the cards is that Deacon is Archangel Michael. I think I mentioned that in the story and I was his first Faith Incarnate. All these titles just throw me for a loop sometimes. Because of this, we have this weird real life energetic connection. And my heart chakra has been pulsing like mad since the story completed. I think my heart is working on his heart. I am healing him from the inside out, but God also wants me to heal his faith muscle. It's been a little bruised as of late. There is so much to love about him, but when you are in the storm, it is hard to see the light. I am going to try and be that light for him, if he will allow me.

During the emotional death match between Deacon and Jax, my heart chose Deacon. I know I will always love Jax. And I don't have any hard feelings about what happened in the past between us, but I know it's time to move on. I have a new mission from God. And that mission is to love and support Deacon and help build him back up.

He is going to explain to you all what happened with him. I just have a feeling about this. But just know I am going to be there for him no matter what. And if you know him, I hope you will be there too.

Chapter 3 - The Movie Is Back On

 

Chapter 3 - The Movie Is Back On

All I can say is, wow, I didn't see that coming. A lot happened last night. I was pulling tarot readings during the time frame of that meeting of the Guardians and I learned a lot. I figured out how I am connected to that Hidden American Royalty. I kinda had part of the concept right in the last story. I was just wrong about which soul they plucked out of time and put into me.

The guy they put into Deacon, yep, that still happened. I'll need to elaborate on that in a minute. But concerning me, there was a different guy in this royal family who was very special. I am not even sure how they knew who he was. But he was God Incarnate too. When he was four years old they faked his death and put him into hiding. He's still out there. He sometimes watches me on the Portal. His name is Patrick. I am not really sure what is going on with him but for some reason they pulled an alternate version of him out of time and put it into me. I think I'm just the backup plan, the just in case scenario. I still don't have any memories of this and I think the reason for that is, he needs those to do his job. The guy is like three different people in the movie. They all are pretty cool, well read and smart as a whip. I think I'm going to like him when I meet him for the first time.

And Deacon?  Well, I kind of had a plan for that. Just thinking about all that lost potential and greatness had me remembering something I read in a book once. It was how these people took the bad element and transformed them into the true essence of the person inside and let them live out their life and do their mission. This is what happened to Deacon. That demon inside him... Gone, finito, finished. All that is left is that amazing shining light growing inside him. I mean, there is a reason I fell in love with him, you know. The man is a stellar example of how to be a good person on earth. And now he embodies that body and soul. So the movie is back on and now Deacon can step into his destiny again. It's going to be amazing. It really is.

I also got a confession from both God and Archangel Michael. Each in their own way left me behind for a season. God is real broken up about it. He took the word of bad men and put me into this pause state. A limbo of sorts. He said I was 'dead in spirit'. But I really wasn't. I found a way to make it work. I sang for God during that period of my life and I healed people. I still had that piece of God inside of me. So he never really left me. Not really.

God confessed he was Northman and that really makes sense. Don't you point up to the sky, the North Star, and say thank God or look up and pray to him? That's why. God is our true north, our Northman. Oh, and here's another secret. That piece of my heart, the node from the title of this story... That is the God spark inside of me. He never left me. Not really. And the secret is, he never left you either. There is that spark, that node, in each of us.

I have a theory about the ripple wave. When it happens, the sun is going to pale and we will have a few days of darkness while it reboots. I think it is just part of the Divine plan. Every so often there has to be a reboot, a renewal.  And during this time of darkness we will all find our inner light, our node. And just like those fish who live in the darkness at the bottom of the sea, we will begin to glow. It's that node, that God inside of us will begin to glow and we won't need a solar sun any more. Oh, they will probably replace it with something new. Some people just like it old school. But we won't really need it. We will all light up the world by just being. And this will pull out of us all those gifts we've been hiding or suppressing. It's going to be fun to watch.

Oh, and Archangel Michael, he told me I was his original faith incarnate. But he couldn't seem to deal with me and be a protector at the same time. Apparently I made him lose focus of something. I perplexed him so he hid me from the world. He and God were in cahoots. Kinda like a tag team. And just like I am the rembodied soul of Patrick, Jax is the soul of Archangel Michael. He is archangel incarnate. It now makes sense why I had a hard time resonating with this particular angel. I just couldn't seem to connect to him growing up. I just thought maybe he didn't like me and that's okay. Not everyone is going to be your best friend. I was a bit intimidated by him. Not gonna lie. But ever since these stories began, he has been with me. We kind of had a revival of sorts. And now I know why. He's Jax, the living breathing embodiment of Archangel Michael. Wow, huh?

I always knew I was protected by angels but I didn't know to what extent. Now we are getting this do over. We are going to be together again, and I'm kind of excited about it.

Oh, God wanted me to add this to the end. Deacon learned his lessons and found his heart again. That node inside him is burning bright, I think. It's all going to turn out good. The movie is back on and we all are about to step into our Destiny just like Deacon is. And I for one can't wait.

You know how I said I really don't like creating bad guys and how I like them to be redeemable? Well, Deacon is redeemed now. I know he is in my eyes and I can't wait to get my popcorn and see how it all plays out.

Chapter 2 - What Could Have Been

 

Chapter 2 - What Could Have Been

In my previous story AKA Deacon, the person I was speaking of was not who he claimed to be. What I wrote about was the man he *could* be if he really followed God. I like to see the best in people. Deacon is charming and fun and makes you feel good. Great qualities when used for a positive purpose. But when used for evil, he can be a very daunting enemy. Being good is not his intention. It was really sad and devastating to discover he wasn’t this good man I knew he could be. But Deacon chose a different road. Everything about life is a choice and in the end, we get to choose what our journey looks like.

I also realized I am not alone. I have a group of Guardians watching me. They are protectors and keep me safe.  God said Jax is coming back too. He will make sure of it. He won’t be here to protect me but to love me.  And that is a powerful thing. Love is the most powerful thing in the universe.

I have to admit that I gave up on Jax for that brief instant in the previous story. It was long enough for the enemy to invade and break open my heart. And in the end, this new connection to my heart will be what saves me. Jax and I were both deceived and forced to live apart. I have no idea what his journey looked like but I am eager to learn about it.

God told me that Deacon is the Devil Incarnate. Sheesh. Pull out the big guns why don’t ya. His ultimate goal is fame and fortune and recognition. I am kind of laughing that this is their goal. They are surely getting recognition now. Evil works better in the dark and in secret. That is why when two or more are gathered, God is there. That group protects each other. Having Jax here will make me stronger. And the Guardians only multiply that. I don’t think this evil element realizes how surrounded by the light they are.

There is another guy I know at church, I’ll call him James. He is a protector. Think Archangel Michael. When he gave a sermon a while back, I could see that an angel was with him. Those archangel wings were so prominent. Archangel Michael is with him and protecting him as he protects others.

My guidance says I won’t be fooled by other people, that I will be able to discern their truth. We will wait and see about that. It is all new to me so I am sure this is a whole process of learning. Deacon did pull the wool over my eyes. But no longer.

I heard he is giving a speech to these protectors who guard me tonight. Not sure what will happen or why he is meeting them, but I hope it goes well for the good guys. What he doesn’t realize is that they know his truth already. Just like me their eyes are wide open and they are ready to begin.

Chapter 1 - And So It Begins

 

Chapter 1 - And So It Begins

I’m kind of annoyed right now. I just learned that the entire last story, AKA Deacon, was a lie. At least a whole lot of it. I was being deceived. Deacon really is my half brother just like I thought at the beginning of Codename Pallas.​​ Kara is his perfect mate, and Kim his priest. The whole point was to show me the plan of the darkside. Right now they are gathering minions. They aren’t going to win. I already know that.

Deacon is the son of Satan. Technically they said son of a demon but Satan created him from a human woman and a demon. Kinda gross if you ask me. It’s not good when the evil element creates kids and throws them out into the world. Do they know the entire time they are that evil? Or does Satan have to pull it out of them? You know, puppet them until they get the right idea.

You know how I said I really didn’t like creating bad guys? Maybe I just somehow knew this was waiting for me in my future. Deacon is evil. These people are invasive and willing to fight for earth. I realize I have a lot on my plate right now, but this is important stuff. Deciding the fate of the universe is a big deal and God knows that.

God told me there would be no more lies but the lies keep coming. I had to set my intention to block the devil, Satan in any incarnation. He also goes by the name One Source, so don’t be deceived like I was. I discovered I might be pretty decent with getting truth but my truth incarnate is really Jax. Has he been with me this entire time? There is a connection between us that is unbreakable. I should have realized that. No wonder I waited so long for him to return. If you don’t remember who he is, he is my old boyfriend from twenty five years ago. 

The bad element accidentally woke me up to the God inside of me. I am sure they didn’t mean to. I’ll bet they are kicking themselves right now. And because of this, Jax, aka Northman, was thrust into action. I have always retained a piece of his heart in mine. The higher realms call that a node. That is why I call this Node to Northman. This is where my true heart lies. In him. All the time it was him.

Apparently Jax has been planning for this day for a very long time. Remember when I said he wasn’t a financial wonderboy? Well, it turns out he is. He is like Bruce Wayne and Batman like his alter ego Northman. Remember that energetic slideshow of past lives I kept getting in my third eye? It was him. All the time it was him.

Deacon paid my mother to not reach out to me and put more focus on the other kids in our family. She is his mother too after all. I am not sure how they convinced her to do that. I never would have believed it before now. They even paid them to keep Jax away from me. I am not sure how they knew he would be such a significant influence in my life. Looking Glass technology, maybe? I don’t even know how they knew I was God Incarnate. I mean how did any of them know, good guys or bad guys?

In many ways I am highly intuitive, and until only recently, my heart chakra was blocked. Now it’s not. But other gifts of mine are still offline and I am working to remedy that. Need all my tools to get my head in this game.

In part I am freaked out and in part I am sad for what is happening to humanity. Why can’t we all just get along?  I wonder what will happen when Jax appears. Apparently, he is pretty rich and has a private jet. I mean, he is a pilot so why am I surprised? Deacon also has a lot of wealth too but he just manipulates others to use their money and then keep his own. He made a deal with an even more evil element than him that he could get me to do something. That is not happening and now he knows that too. Tensions are high.

When I first wrote Codename Pallas I did it so if Jax ever came across the story he would know how I felt about him. I wanted him to know that I waited and what he meant to me. That story just spiraled out of control and became what it is now. It revealed a lot of truths to me I just wasn’t seeing in my life. I have wondered a lot how it would feel to see him in person again. I guess I am going to find out because he is coming.

A new story begins - Node to Northman

 I've been deceived by the enemy. And now I know. Maybe not everything but enough to know that the lines have been drawn between good and evil. Apparently I'm now in charge. I really am God Incarnate and the battle for earth and humanity is on.